Yes it's true. Alternate Side Parking is suspended on Thur (9/30) and Fri (10/1) so that even that most devout ritual can have a day of rest. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 of them actually!
We who park on NYC streets celebrate all religions and this week especially. So while some will understandably be aware of less earthly matters, others will just be aware. So if you move your car tomorrow, you will not have to worry about moving it again until Monday. Or, for the really initiated, move it Tue and not worry about it again until next Tue.
Check Twitter AltSideParkNYC for daily Alternate Side rules in effect.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Tight Lipped City Officials Won’t Say where Parking Spaces Will Be Cut.
As many of us have realized the Bloomberg’s administration “re-engineering of the city’s street grid” is costing us parking spaces, not to mention adding to the very traffic congestion he was once so determined to alleviate with a drivers tax. Apparently he means to break those too many Manhattan drivers the old fashioned way, by just saying no. But the most alarming thing I have heard about these traffic redesigns came in a New York Times article this summer.
This article recounts statistics that show that the deadliest pedestrian accidents occur when male drivers turn left (and our favorite passenger said we weren’t listening!). The article also talks about the Bloomberg administration’s series of traffic pattern changes (barring vehicles from major avenues, the bike lanes, etc,). Then the article mentions a planned series of changes in line with these latest statistics and we are told:
"Dozens of parking spaces will be removed next year from a major Manhattan avenue — officials would not say which one…”
Representatives of the Bloomberg administration, our elected city government, already has plans for substantial changes on a major Manhattan avenue, but would not say which one. Excuse me? Does that feel as creepy to you as it does to me?
Our administration is playing secrets with public policy. Traffic strategies affect local residents and businesses and directly impact those businesses’ economic value. We have a right to know. Since when is our American standard of open government subject to the whims of a few people who won a local election? Do we have a democratically elected Mayor or a Czar? Even Dad will let us know what kind of cake he is baking before it’s finished. Maybe that third term really does pervert all Mayors’ sense of entitlement. But no, I can’t imagine Ed Koch using such an intrigue, looking askance, like a jilted Doris Day, and refusing to say where he plans to make changes that will affect traffic and parking on a major Manhattan avenue.
If this administration truly fears open debate, prepared community review, and needs to ambush local communities with its special agenda, then maybe it’s because it’s not such a good agenda. Please feel free to click on the Contact the Mayor link to the right and let Mayor Bloomberg know you are old enough to know what he plans to do in your neighborhood before he actually does it.
This article recounts statistics that show that the deadliest pedestrian accidents occur when male drivers turn left (and our favorite passenger said we weren’t listening!). The article also talks about the Bloomberg administration’s series of traffic pattern changes (barring vehicles from major avenues, the bike lanes, etc,). Then the article mentions a planned series of changes in line with these latest statistics and we are told:
"Dozens of parking spaces will be removed next year from a major Manhattan avenue — officials would not say which one…”
Representatives of the Bloomberg administration, our elected city government, already has plans for substantial changes on a major Manhattan avenue, but would not say which one. Excuse me? Does that feel as creepy to you as it does to me?
Our administration is playing secrets with public policy. Traffic strategies affect local residents and businesses and directly impact those businesses’ economic value. We have a right to know. Since when is our American standard of open government subject to the whims of a few people who won a local election? Do we have a democratically elected Mayor or a Czar? Even Dad will let us know what kind of cake he is baking before it’s finished. Maybe that third term really does pervert all Mayors’ sense of entitlement. But no, I can’t imagine Ed Koch using such an intrigue, looking askance, like a jilted Doris Day, and refusing to say where he plans to make changes that will affect traffic and parking on a major Manhattan avenue.
If this administration truly fears open debate, prepared community review, and needs to ambush local communities with its special agenda, then maybe it’s because it’s not such a good agenda. Please feel free to click on the Contact the Mayor link to the right and let Mayor Bloomberg know you are old enough to know what he plans to do in your neighborhood before he actually does it.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Parking Trends or Why We Need Alternate Side Parking
Late at night, in their Draconian castle, that is only visible when the fog lifts on the East River, the Master Magicians of the DOT are at work apparating time and space, mixing memory and desire, creating and destroying matter to determine those times where and when people can legally park. Those other times and places (we will not speak their name in this post) are better discussed with a therapist or an exorcist. Blessed as I am with the enviable task of poring over DOT Tables and Table entries of Parking regulations for Manhattan, occasionally I awake to catch an early glimpse of their dark deeds. But this latest is the most eye opening yet.
Somewhere in the southern hemisphere of the East Side, Alternate Side Parking Regulations are being partially lifted. Huh? Yes, On at least First Avenue, a number of blocks that were formerly Mon – Fri a half hour of No Parking For Street Sweeping followed by 10 or so hours of Metered Parking are losing their Street Sweeping Rules, so that only the Metered Parking is left. That’s good news, right? Now we can park on those block for longer stretches. No longer do we have to clear out for a measly half hour of sometimes ON, sometimes OFF street cleaning. Hurray! Yahoo! (Google?)
That’s it then. It’s good news and we can all wander off to some other Blog for a while or step outside for some of those last rays of summer. Or is it? Not so fast DOT! What are you up to? I hate to be that suspicious New Yorker, always looking for the ambush, the sweet tasting poison, the other shoe (parking sign) to drop, but parking in this city has sharpened my animal instincts and I have both preyed upon the slower moving and been swallowed whole by this whale of a city along with hundreds of others in one bite. So when that raspy, dark magic voice on my left shoulder says to me “It’s a trap! “Why would they lift street sweeping parking hours that are already well established in the neighborhood?” “Did anyone announce they were cutting back street sweeping?” “Or a new bike path?” “Just what are they up to now?” I tend to listen.
How can they sweep if there is not a time that all cars are required to vacate? Do the Einsteinian and Bloombergian quantum relativity theory of probabilities prove conclusively that those sections on the West Side of First Avenue will be free often enough for sweeping anyway? Do the forces of gravity and erosion cause rainfall to naturally scrub this avenue on its way to supplying the city’s most magnificent fountains, not to mention forging nearby mountain streams and lakes? Is there a secret and ancient feud between the East and West Sides of First Avenue and this the latest and most insidious assault yet? But hey, what do we care about having clean streets or the cool cats who after 60 or so years of litter laws (or 40 years of Earth Days) still throw their garbage at your and my feet. This means relaxed parking restrictions and the Hell with the rest! Right?
“Be careful what you wish for.” says the brainy siren’s voice on my right shoulder. “WhatsHisName on the other side of this pointy rock you call a head likes to complain about constant Alternate Side shifting and ticket agents stalking, but the truth is we who have the privilege to park on this great city’s streets need Sanitation Restricted Parking. If we didn’t have it, there would not be enough movement and enough freeing up of parking spaces for those of us who dared to take our cars anywhere.”
She’s right (and pretty too!). A whole lot of us would be happy to leave our cars where they are until a really worthy night out or inner city happening comes up. (If you are commuting in your car, my sympathies.) The necessity of moving our cars every day makes the use of our cars at least a reasonable throw of the dice, actually increases the chances that we will use our car. Just consider last week’s string of suspended Alt Side Days. Did you decide against taking your car just once because it was good for tomorrow? If you still don’t believe me ask yourself this: have you ever uttered the phrase, “I have to move my car anyway, so I can… drop you off, pick you up, stop in at, or [your phrase here]? “
If we never had to move our cars for Street Sweeping, competition would be more fierce. There would be Squatters and Street Parking Barons, Haves and Have Nots. Prime spaces would become more prime because we would stay in them longer. We would have to curry favor with the local Parking Bosses before we set off on that weekend getaway. And we would have dirtier streets. So let’s all give a moment of thanks for Alternate Side Parking.Hip Hip Hooray! Yahoo! (Google!)
Somewhere in the southern hemisphere of the East Side, Alternate Side Parking Regulations are being partially lifted. Huh? Yes, On at least First Avenue, a number of blocks that were formerly Mon – Fri a half hour of No Parking For Street Sweeping followed by 10 or so hours of Metered Parking are losing their Street Sweeping Rules, so that only the Metered Parking is left. That’s good news, right? Now we can park on those block for longer stretches. No longer do we have to clear out for a measly half hour of sometimes ON, sometimes OFF street cleaning. Hurray! Yahoo! (Google?)
That’s it then. It’s good news and we can all wander off to some other Blog for a while or step outside for some of those last rays of summer. Or is it? Not so fast DOT! What are you up to? I hate to be that suspicious New Yorker, always looking for the ambush, the sweet tasting poison, the other shoe (parking sign) to drop, but parking in this city has sharpened my animal instincts and I have both preyed upon the slower moving and been swallowed whole by this whale of a city along with hundreds of others in one bite. So when that raspy, dark magic voice on my left shoulder says to me “It’s a trap! “Why would they lift street sweeping parking hours that are already well established in the neighborhood?” “Did anyone announce they were cutting back street sweeping?” “Or a new bike path?” “Just what are they up to now?” I tend to listen.
How can they sweep if there is not a time that all cars are required to vacate? Do the Einsteinian and Bloombergian quantum relativity theory of probabilities prove conclusively that those sections on the West Side of First Avenue will be free often enough for sweeping anyway? Do the forces of gravity and erosion cause rainfall to naturally scrub this avenue on its way to supplying the city’s most magnificent fountains, not to mention forging nearby mountain streams and lakes? Is there a secret and ancient feud between the East and West Sides of First Avenue and this the latest and most insidious assault yet? But hey, what do we care about having clean streets or the cool cats who after 60 or so years of litter laws (or 40 years of Earth Days) still throw their garbage at your and my feet. This means relaxed parking restrictions and the Hell with the rest! Right?
“Be careful what you wish for.” says the brainy siren’s voice on my right shoulder. “WhatsHisName on the other side of this pointy rock you call a head likes to complain about constant Alternate Side shifting and ticket agents stalking, but the truth is we who have the privilege to park on this great city’s streets need Sanitation Restricted Parking. If we didn’t have it, there would not be enough movement and enough freeing up of parking spaces for those of us who dared to take our cars anywhere.”
She’s right (and pretty too!). A whole lot of us would be happy to leave our cars where they are until a really worthy night out or inner city happening comes up. (If you are commuting in your car, my sympathies.) The necessity of moving our cars every day makes the use of our cars at least a reasonable throw of the dice, actually increases the chances that we will use our car. Just consider last week’s string of suspended Alt Side Days. Did you decide against taking your car just once because it was good for tomorrow? If you still don’t believe me ask yourself this: have you ever uttered the phrase, “I have to move my car anyway, so I can… drop you off, pick you up, stop in at, or [your phrase here]? “
If we never had to move our cars for Street Sweeping, competition would be more fierce. There would be Squatters and Street Parking Barons, Haves and Have Nots. Prime spaces would become more prime because we would stay in them longer. We would have to curry favor with the local Parking Bosses before we set off on that weekend getaway. And we would have dirtier streets. So let’s all give a moment of thanks for Alternate Side Parking.Hip Hip Hooray! Yahoo! (Google!)
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Summer Isn’t Over!
Sure Labor Day has come and gone like that sun on your smiling face, but there is still much to rejoice as we are about to enter some of the holiest days on the calendar. That’s right. Alternate Side Suspended Days! (see full calendar) If you stayed close to home this weekend you could be in the midst of a 10 day relief from having to move your car for Alt Side. That’s 10 days without the Should I stay or should I go? Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, this side to that, from 2 to fro, with no fines to owe, or trucks to tow, and a little extra time to blow, to make a better rhyme or… Whoa! But seriously, enjoy it!
As it stands now most of us do not have to move until Monday, and if you are on the Monday side, why not stay there and enjoy the next 7 days getting home a little earlier than usual, texting someone close to you, or even trying public transportation to see what all that is about?
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Parking Hieroglyphics Prove Alien Civilization!
We who park on NYC streets know how to problem solve. To survive we have evolved a keen eyesight and a Water Dowser’s intuition. We can read multiple parking signs at a glance, often correctly. We can measure the distance from a hydrant with RoboCop type accuracy. We have even developed a Parking Map! Which is why this latest discovery, while sure to put me in the history books, was really just all in a day’s parking.
I was parking my car on Columbus Avenue, routinely switching on my infra-red parking locator (You don't have one of those?), when suddenly I saw something that defied human explanation. A whole lot of parking spaces! Immediately I looked around for the net, the snare, the trap that had been so obviously set, but there was nothing there but... but I don't know how to describe it. That's when I realized I had uncovered the most mind boggling, never-before-seen, alien hieroglyphics ever discovered. (sample above)
So complex that they can only be from another solar system, a so superior race. At first, the celestial symbols were incomprehensible, but then I saw them for what they are. Erich Von Daniken was right! The Gods can park their Chariots in the Heavens (or maybe they just rent), but these Aliens have descended and challenged us with encrypted messages for the greatest minds of our civilization to unravel, or be fined and towed. I mean these babies make crop circles look like nursery school doodles.
Applying all my parking skill and finding this DOT page on the internet have helped me to understand and to slowly readjust to our new human/alien society, but if you, like all of the other people on Columbus who didn’t realize they could park in the “Floating Parking Lanes” (parking spaces galore!), are haunted by these secret messages, or feel adrift and without moorings so far from the curb, here is a brief, and hopefully accurate, illustration.
Keep a sharp eye. More coded parking spaces to come.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
City Gives Parking Out to Movies Like Candy
They towed and towed
and why your car
was taken
no one knows.
At 11:00 am this morning the tow trucks moved in like an armed insurgence. Drivers were running around looking for their cars. Those at work don't get to find out where their car was towed until they return. The rest scrambled throughout the day to find alternative parking spaces. (except for one lucky motorcycle).
The blocks you see pictured above:
113 Street (a firehouse is located on this street!)
110 Street
109 Street
108 Street
Amsterdam Avenue
are under siege from a movie called Premium Rush and they have been tormenting this neighborhood with their poor planning all Summer. I mean how many takes do they have to get of this neighborhood and wouldn't it make sense to do them all at the same time? Wouldn't it at least be considerate? Or is this neighborhood just another Hollywood set to them.
Hundreds of parking spaces were left empty and unused throughout the day. (They are still unused now). A few film trucks came in during the day using a small fraction of the spaces reserved, but even they left . These pictures were taken at 7:00 pm, 8/19 and by this time many drivers have reclaimed their blocks despite the cones placed there to reserve the spaces, but there are still whole blocks of parking spaces held hostage and the threat of towing tonight has been re-posted (on 110 Street). And don't we just know tickets are being written in those "legal parking spaces" where everyone was towed.
Whose city is this anyway?
If you think this administration is like a glamor-starved fan who would give anything away if it was for the movies, or if you think someone should be monitoring the requests for Parking Permits rather than blushing and rubber stamping them, or if you just don't think this is fair for any reason, click on the image of Mayor Bloomberg to the right and email the Mayor your objections.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Double Parking (a How To editorial)
OK, I know double parking is illegal everywhere in the city and anyone who tries it will be instantly dragged to Hell, but really I think the climate change down there could soon raise real estate values. Sometimes you have to double park, and, if you live on the upper west side, during alternate side hours you might even avoid getting a ticket, so can I at least put my 2 cents in about the lost art of double parking? Even if you are dragged to Hell, those of us left still have to deal with this car you’ve double parked right over where we are legally parked, so a refresher in what is good double parking is a useful thing for all of us living or dead.
My first of 2 cents about correct double parking is location, location, location. The above illustration is an example (cent 1) of good versus evil double parking. I appreciate many people’s sense of order compels them to park right alongside another car as shown in the top of the above illustration. It’s neat. It helps you orientate yourself in space and time but resist this temptation! It is possible to park across 2 cars like in the bottom of the above illustration and still find your way home. It makes for easier opening of car doors, fewer dings to other car doors, not to mention allows the legally parked drivers at your front and back to get out if they need to. I know, at first, it seems hard to make these kinds of drastic changes in your life, but remember at one time you didn't know how to walk and you learned, didn't you? Once you learn to do it, it’s easy and fun. And it saves gas.
My other cent about parking is shown in the very simple second illustration above. It is a bit of a puzzle, but I think we can work it out. If you have to block someone for some really good reason, leave a phone number! The person you are parked alongside may be rushing to the airport, only have minutes to pick up the perfect sized bookcase left on the street, have a life! Chances are if they go through all the taxation and misrepresentation that owning a car in this city requires, they are doing it because they want to be able to use the car when they want to use it!
If you leave a phone number on your dashboard, you give them hope. They are less likely to bang on their horn for 20 minutes. You can come let them out and then take their legal parking space! What a bargain!
So , if you must be dragged to Hell (or just use the subway), let your last act in this life be a thoughtful and considerate one to your neighbors and we will remember you fondly for it.
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